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Mend Your Broken Heart – Save Your Marriage for the Kids?

28th October, 2010 - Posted by health news - No Comments

In the best interest of the children, lots of couples stay together. Is giving up your happiness for the kids really a beneficial for them to witness. Or to be with someone that makes you blissful is it more important for them to witness? So your children can continue to have a family, can you save your marriage and mend your broken heart?

It is my belief that you should be happy in your relationship and it is vital that your children see you in a devoted and strong relationship. My parents fought constantly, this why I felt this way. With a fondness for liquor and old fashion views, my dad was a pretty conventional kind of guy. My mother was a bit more liberal, maybe because of her education, was expected to cook dinner, clean the house, drive us kids around as well as work full time.

It was difficult for my mom to run a household and hold a full time job but somehow she managed. And when my father was home they never seemed to get along, their marriage looked like a struggle. Why they stayed together is something I could never figure out.

That is how my view of relationships formed, that the woman should be more giving and not to expect a lot in return. I believed that relationships were suppose to be trying as such you should never look forward to be happy within one and that the whole Cinderella thing was just a fairy tale.

My sisters and I thought a “normal” relationship was what my parents had, so this is the kind of relationship we looked for as we got older. Would my sisters and I be in happier relationships if our parents had split up or is it better to stay together for the sake of the kids?

A few years ago when my mother was complaining about my dad, I asked her straight out “Why did you stay with him all those years?” Her answer was “To move you and your sisters into a one bedroom apartment and to constantly worry about finding babysitter is not something I wanted.” Living in a respectable community, in a nice house, is where I felt you were better off.” This didn’t make sense to me as I really believe that we would have been happier if they had split up.

One of my friends is a single mom and because of this I think I may have recently changed my mind. Everyday she struggles with getting her kids to school and getting to work on time. Subsequently having someone there to pick her kids up after school something she need to ensure. Money is always an issue and she can’t afford to put her kids in extra activities. When one of her son’s coaches came up to her and told her she should put her boy in special hockey school because he had a real talent, it broke her heart. She couldn’t find the money for it as the school was way too pricey. Is it fair that her little boy has to suffer? Her son might not have missed this opportunity had she rescued the marriage.

Instead of trying to work it out and the parents get a divorce, I never realized or thought of all the things that a child would lose out on. Unless there is physical abuse involved, most child psychologists suggest trying to fix the marriage, so there is no simple response to this very frequent question. The kid’s safety must come first. They also advise that the kids should never observe any excessive disagreements. And if parents find it difficult to work through their differences they may want to try working with a marriage counselor.

Your kids should grow to have strong and healthy relationships if you can save your marriage and mend your broken heart.