Health & Fitness Tools

How to Know When You Are in a Toxic Relationship and Mend My Broken Heart

23rd September, 2010 - Posted by health news - No Comments

So many of us are in toxic relationships where we feel as though our hearts are being ripped out of our chests yet we do nothing to change it. You need to take a serious look at your partner and consider how the two of you are together and are you with the right person, in order to heal your broken heart. Are you scared of being alone or are you just settling because you think there is no one out there better suited for you?

Most of the time we tend not to trust our own feelings or intuitions. To make ourselves cheer up about our decisions, we validate them through our actions. We may know deep down that this is not how we should be treated but still we stay. Renee, my friend, knew this all too well. For 2 years, she was in a relationship with Josh. At first Josh treated her like gold, taking her to the nicest restaurants, buying her things, calling her all the time. When they discussed what they would like in the relationship, he wanted marriage in time as well and she was ecstatic.

Every weekend they would spend at his house with his kids and his friends and this made Renee very happy. She stopped spending time with her friends because his life became her life. She did it all, cooked for his family, entertained his friends, cleaned his house to name just a few. All she wanted was to be the ideal girlfriend and with any luck the perfect wife one day.

Then six months into the relationship things began to cool, he wasn’t calling as often and he would make up excuses not to see her. She began feeling insecure at his lack of interest. She started calling him to see where he was because she was becoming paranoid that he may be seeing someone else. Josh began to pull away from her the more apprehensive Renee became.

Josh didn’t seem to appreciate the things she did anymore. Whenever she needed help he was never there and he would pull away when she touched him. When people were over he would completely ignore her and flirt with other women. He would use excuses like, “We’re only friends, you knew I had a lot of girl friends when we got together” or “I’m not good at this relationship stuff, but I’ll try to be better” when she would sob to him each night about their relationship or the other women. He appeared to be surprised that she still came when she turned up on Friday night. When she went home on Sunday night, she would be feeling depressed and wanting things the way they used to be.

Did Renee believe she was with the right person? Her soul mate, did she really think it was Josh? Should Renee have continue transforming herself into something she wasn’t or should she have put a stop to the relationship?

Try this simple exercise if you think you may be in a toxic relationship:

Remove yourself and put one of your friends or co-workers in your place in the equation. By taking your emotions out of the equation, it will allow you to look at it without bias. How could you be of assistance to these people if they came to you requesting help? When you are not involved, it is much easier to give guidance.

The advice you would offer them, can you follow it? You should as it is the best advice you could get because it is coming from your own gut feeling. If you learn to trust you feelings and instincts it will be much easier to heal your broken heart as an alternative of justifying your actions.